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December 27, 2005
the weekend updated
Being in Buffalo is an odd experience for me. I have really enjoyed seeing friends, a couple in particular. Thing about friends in my world, it seems as if I can not be around them for weeks, months, years, in the case of a couple people this week it has seriously been decades, and yet after a moment or two it is as if no time has passed at all. We are telling stories and laughing and times are good. This has been a terribly pleasant weekend for a few reasons. As always it was good to see Karen, Wayne and Brian of course. It was nice to see Tim and Andy again and to see Eric and Michael, Chris, Michael, Javier, Gordon and Jane, and Jim; it was especially nice to see Jim.
There are people to whom I was not able to be a good friend to while I was using. Being drunk and high was my priority for so long, and I lost out because of that. What I have also known, and it took a while for me to get this, is that my pursuit of the almighty high had an affect on other people's lives. Today I am grateful that there are people who were able to see past Jim the mess, if even for a moment. And more over that today they are willing to open their homes and their hearts to me again. That is incredibly cool.
I realize from time to time just how incredibly fortunate my life has been. After dinner this evening, exchanging gifts with some friends I was talking about gratitude with my friend Jane. I have casually known Jane for about 24 years; I was with friends I have known that long all weekend, some who actually knew me before I took my first drink. Jane and I sat and talked about life and how easy it can be to focus on what is letting you down in life. How everyday we have a decision about how we are going to interpret the world. I am always surprised when I talk to people for whom a membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is not necessary, people for whom the decision to do the right thing, at least most of the time, comes naturally.
It gives me hope that these people exist.
Posted by JimG at December 27, 2005 08:48 AM
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Comments
Good to see you Jim.
It's great that you have so many friends who knew you "before." I have none, except for my Mom and sister.
You can certainly be grateful for that.
Posted by: Dave / higher powered at December 27, 2005 09:53 AM
you rock, jim. glad you had fun on your trip. mine went well as well. did you receive my x-mas card? hmmmm?
Posted by: lonestarsteve at December 27, 2005 02:19 PM
Love the post, I can relate... The pic: Did someone get a brow wax for christmas?
Posted by: tay hota at December 27, 2005 02:48 PM
G'day,
I only recently came across your Blog here Jim, but just wanted to briefly say how much I have been enjoying it. I have subsequently added a link to your blog on my homepage.
I am 40 year old gay Aussie from Sydney, Australia. One day at a time I have been both sober and clean since 15th July 1992, and have also been a practising Buddhist since October 1998. I will be sure to visit your site now on a regular basis, and please feel free to drop by my site anytime and check it out!
Bodhi :-)
Sydney, Australia
Posted by: Bodhi at December 27, 2005 05:49 PM