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December 31, 2005

Make it Gay

I ended up seeing the Producers last night with ny buddy Billy. It was great! Reminded me of all the Hollywood musicals that I loved as a kid, and still do. This is the kind of thing I would have staged in my parents living room after seeing. Probably still will. Even if you saw and loved the stage version and don't want to ruin the memory, put aside your worries and go see it. They did an amazing job.

Posted by JimG at 06:57 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 30, 2005

see you next year

The last year of my using I rang the new year in wearing a paper tiara while getting high in the womans bathroom at the 19 Bar by myself.

This year I am sharing my story at a GLBT in Recovery dinner.

I will probably be wearing a paper tiara.

Somethings should never change.

Have a Happy and Safe New Years Celebration, and unlike the people pictured above remember that all photos of you will eventually end up on the internet, so have some dignity.

Posted by JimG at 03:15 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

thoughts are kinda spinning in my mind

About 4 inches of snow today, really heavy snoe that clings to tree branches and drops with a heavt thud as the sun melts it away. Wow, I am so Robert Frost! But seriously, it was really pretty and thankfully an easy commute because of the holiday weekend.

So, my date planned for tonight called to let me know that he was not ready to make a commitment yet and maybe we should wait.

The plan was for dinner, not even dinner and a movie. Certainly not jetting off to Massachusetts for a impromptu gay wedding.

Men are freaks.

So I am free tonight, with reservations at Cave Vin. Anyone hungry?

Provided of course you are ready to make such a commitment.

Freak.

Posted by JimG at 08:46 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

December 29, 2005

I'm standing here on this moonlit street instead

Last night I was surfing the web, ironically not looking at porn, when I came across the website of my friend Laurie Gilmer, the finest real estate agent in the greater Portland area. Laurie and I worked together at TGIFridays on Newbury St in Boston back in the day. We had a blast together and I think of her often, and always with great fondness. So, being impulsive I called her and had a great conversation.

Perhaps the trip to Buffalo can be blamed with my nostaglia, but I have been thinking about people I have had the great fortune to know and love in my life, and I want to let some of them know that they have impacted my life in a wonderful way. It is not that I need these relationships to be brought back to the way they were, I don't think that is possible even if I wanted it, but I want to let people know that they are loved, and that I am doing well today.

Other then that life is standard today. I took down my Christmas tree between sponsee meetings last night, much to the chagrin of the kitties. It is beautiful out today and there are only 10 weeks or so left until spring starts.

I can handle that.

Posted by JimG at 08:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 28, 2005

bright shiny beads

This is a crazy week at work. Only half the office is in and we are trying to do additional work since the office was closed over Christmas weekend and will be closed monday. I really don't like to work hard, although I am a hard worker. So there you have it, I would like all of you to feel sorry for me today that I actually have to work for the money I earn. Please acknowledge how unfair and difficult my life is.

Thank you.

On a better note. Some of you may remember a period of dating I had earlier this fall. God knows it is a memory I cling to with the hopes that some day it will happen again. Well it seems that someday is this friday. Out of the blue I got an e-mail from a guy I had been dating who went on tour with a show and with whom I lost contact. He is back in town and wants to pick it up again( haha they ALWAYS comes back for more, sometimes it just takes them a while). SO we are going out on friday. It is a very good way to send out the old year, and hopefully ring in the new.

My friend Mike A tells me that this years my prayer should focus on my getting more money and finding a boyfriend, that I should demand that God's will matches my will.

It makes me nervous even joking about that. But I kid.

Posted by JimG at 08:19 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 27, 2005

the weekend updated

Being in Buffalo is an odd experience for me. I have really enjoyed seeing friends, a couple in particular. Thing about friends in my world, it seems as if I can not be around them for weeks, months, years, in the case of a couple people this week it has seriously been decades, and yet after a moment or two it is as if no time has passed at all. We are telling stories and laughing and times are good. This has been a terribly pleasant weekend for a few reasons. As always it was good to see Karen, Wayne and Brian of course. It was nice to see Tim and Andy again and to see Eric and Michael, Chris, Michael, Javier, Gordon and Jane, and Jim; it was especially nice to see Jim.

There are people to whom I was not able to be a good friend to while I was using. Being drunk and high was my priority for so long, and I lost out because of that. What I have also known, and it took a while for me to get this, is that my pursuit of the almighty high had an affect on other people's lives. Today I am grateful that there are people who were able to see past Jim the mess, if even for a moment. And more over that today they are willing to open their homes and their hearts to me again. That is incredibly cool.

I realize from time to time just how incredibly fortunate my life has been. After dinner this evening, exchanging gifts with some friends I was talking about gratitude with my friend Jane. I have casually known Jane for about 24 years; I was with friends I have known that long all weekend, some who actually knew me before I took my first drink. Jane and I sat and talked about life and how easy it can be to focus on what is letting you down in life. How everyday we have a decision about how we are going to interpret the world. I am always surprised when I talk to people for whom a membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is not necessary, people for whom the decision to do the right thing, at least most of the time, comes naturally.

It gives me hope that these people exist.

Posted by JimG at 08:48 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 21, 2005

a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas weekend, if you celebrate something else don't take your omission personally just fill in your holiday, if you celebrate nothing, have a great weekend. I am shuffling off to Buffalo, where internet access is limited, and frankly I will be a little busy, so I am not sure if I will be able to post.

If you happen to find yourself in Minneapolis over New Years, check out the GLBT in Recovery New Yeears Eve Party, always a good time.

Anyhow, travel safely if you are travelling. Know that you are all loved this holiday season, even if it is just by a guy from Minneapolis who post shirtless pictures of cute guys and rambles about some of the nonsense in his day to day wanderings.

By the way, yesterdays guy got ALOT of positive feedback. Who would have guessed, sure he is nice, but not in my personal top 10.

Posted by JimG at 07:50 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

December 20, 2005

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

He could Nip/Tuck me any time.

Posted by JimG at 11:43 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

There are not enough hours in the day for me to accomplish everything I want to accomplish. Because of this I woke up at 4 am and had a hard time falling back asleep. I really do love layng in bed thinking about things being screwed up in my life, I find that to be really helpful ( read the past sentence with a sarcastic tone, please)

I am going home tomorrow, that should be fun. Hopefully I will get some skiing in this weekend.

Posted by JimG at 08:32 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

December 19, 2005

what a day this has been

The Mississippi is freezing over. Because the air is so much colder then the steam is billowing up into the air and this morning created a full rainbow ( I guess that would be an ice crystal bow, some weather guy has to read my blog, what is the name for this?) Anyhow it was really pretty.

Speaking of pretty....Brokeback Mountain. Where to begin. Damn this was one beautiful movie, aside from the scorchingly hot man on man action. I want to see this movie again, I did find that I was not really ableto buy into some of the relationship dynamic, but after sitting away from the movie for a bit it began to sink in. Plus any excuse to see Heath throw Jake up against a wall and kissing him with great passion and hunger, right.

Posted by JimG at 08:35 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 16, 2005

the little things you used to say or do

There was something I was totally outraged about last night. I was writing posts about it in my head on my way home and for the life of me I can't remember what it was. Funny how something can be an overwhelming obsession, driving my emotion and ausing me to focus on it as if it were more important than anything else.

I try to not live in crisis in my life. I am not always sucessful at this, but certainly my life is more peaceful than it was in days when I was using.

Tonight is Bareback...excuse me Brokeback Mountain and I believe gift exchange with the friends. My friends can be very difficult to buy gifts for as they just buy what they want when they want. So the things that they want tend to be outrageously expensive. Therefore Christmas gift have to be well thought out and creative. I know I got the perfect gift for Dan, a damned good one for Fabian and am still working on La Dubin.

I wish I didn't care so much for my friends, then I could just give them Borders gift cards and be done with it.

Posted by JimG at 08:36 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

December 15, 2005

Gay it Forward

I would like to add a variation to Dan's post for today. He writes about the movie Pay it Forward and what a noble idea it is. I agree and while I give full credit for the title of this post to the writers at Will & Grace, I would like to give a shining example of the phenomeon we call Gay it Forward.

There is a gay man who lives in Minneapolis, let's call him Jim. As the holiday season approached he found himself booking a flight on the Northwest Airline website, taking advantage of the double miles. After purchasing his tickets he checked into the websit to reserve his seats, Jim like a window seat. Much to his dismay our hero noticed that there was NO SEAT AVAILABLE on one leg of his flight! To the phone he rushed, alright reached it is really close on his desk, dialling the helpline for NWA.

Much to his relief, the live voice on the other end of the helpline was unsettlingly high pitched, light and lispy. If not for the name identification Jim would have felt certain he was speaking with a well bred society woman, but fortunately for him it was not. For you see, Jim was speaking with another homo! Yes, somehome Jim had been connected with a gay airline employee, what are the chances!

After a great deal of charming banter, that Jim, she knows how to work the phone, not only did Jim secure a seat, but had been upgraded on all flights to First Class!

It is good to be a gay today.

Posted by JimG at 08:34 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

December 14, 2005

there's no sun up in the sky

We got about 4 inches of snow here in the Twin Cities last night and have been told to expect another 5 by this evening. That's alot of snow. It certainly does look nice, very Christmasy, if that is a word.

Hopefully the snow will help to put me in the Christmas spirit, there has not been alot of that for me lately. More like the Christmas anxiety.

And I left my phone at home again today...ugh.

Posted by JimG at 08:43 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

December 13, 2005

you fall from grace

I went to see the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with Dave on Sunday. It really was quite pretty. Sometimes when watching things like that,with all it's computer enhanced effects, I am just amazed at what we can construct. Film has certainly come a long way from the Lumiere Brothers.

Speaking of technology, Dan and I went to Best Buy last night and spent a few hours looking at high tech, or even mid range tech gadgets. My favorite by far was the car stereo which turned into a DVD player at the press of a button. Because of course we all need a dvd player in the dash.

Oh my God, I have become my father.

Posted by JimG at 08:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

December 12, 2005

walking in a winter wonderland

Friday night I walked around New York, enjoying the looks of joy of people looking at Christmas lights and coming out of Broadway shows. It was a wonderful couple of hours.

The young man I was supposed to take to California decided to not accept help on Saturday, so I headed back to Minneapolis instead of LA. Disappointing, so I slept with the cats instead of Dustin, butit was ok.

Crazy busy morning, more later.

Posted by JimG at 08:39 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 09, 2005

bi....coastal that is

So I am a nervous flier. I know everytime I take off or land, everytime, that it will be the end. So far I have been delighted to be wrong about this, but I still carry the thought, no the knowledge that this will happen. It does not stop me from travelling, but it gives me something to obsess about. Well, there I was last night packing for a last minute trip I am starting this afternoon, innocently watching TV, Will and Grace had just ended(very funny episode btw), when I make the mistake of flipping past CNN. As I am sure you all know( the demographic of my readers is highly educated, sick in the head, but highly educated) there was a plane accident at Midway Airport last night. I have flown into Midway countless un eventful times, but last night a plane skidded off the runway into an intersection.

AN INTERSECTION!

You can imagine that this put my fears, ok phobias, to rest.

Keep me in your thoughts this weekend, I will have logged about 6,000 miles by Sunday afternoon. Minneapolis to New York City today, NYC to LA tomorrow and LA to Minneapolis on Sunday.

Typing that made me tired.

While this is work related travel I will find some time for fun. In fact this solves my earlier conundrum concerning where to spend the holiday. I will be seeing, and I think you all know what I mean when I say seeing, Dustin in LA Saturday, freeing me to be with my folks on Christmas. I did get a chuckle that when I put that decision to a vote all the boys told me that I had to go home( which was my decision) and all the women, who are all by the way mothers, told me to skip the parents and have fun. What does that say about the loose moral fiber of my woman friends.

On a more serious note, my friend Dan's father had a heartattack last night. He is stable but in the hospital. If you are of the praying type, add their family to your prayers today. If not, at least send them good wishes.

Posted by JimG at 08:31 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 08, 2005

why did I ever buy him those damn long pants?

We are discussing the merits of vodka in the office today. Lindsay hated vodka, she actually hates all hard liquor. Mike says that he never specifically had a problem with vodka. Hallie is not big on vodka, although there was a time she was. Me, well I used to love love vodka, good vodka, cheap vodka I didn't really discriminate. The problem was that vodka and I didn't really get along all that well. So, just for today, no vodka for Jim, Hallie, Mike or Lindsay... we will have to see what tomorrow holds.

I have been watching Season 1 of Six Feet Under. What a good show! There are a couple of shows that I did not discover until the were released on dvd, Alias, Nip/Tuck, Sex in the City. I really like having the chance to watch without commercials and without waiting a week for the next update. Plus I love the extras, especially outtakes, I love when people laugh inappropriately.

Today is my friend Julie's Birthday, it would be rude to tell you how old she is, but yesterday she was still 38. This summer we will have been friends for 24 years. It is crazy that I can actually have friends that I have known for 24 years. If you add to the mix that I had just recieved my driver's license it makes me feel even older. Hmm, did you notice the subtle way Iwas able to make an announcement of Julie's birthday all about me.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Posted by JimG at 08:32 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

December 07, 2005

Isn't this better, the way it should be?

I got my first Christmas card last night, from my friend Brian in Dallas. He is so good about things like this.

Boy was it a challenge to get out of bed this morning, I kept eliminating things to do in my morning routine... no need for coffee, I can shave in the shower, who brushes their teeth really? At some point in my sobriety it became unacceptable for me to call in sick when I was not really sick- you know running a fever, open sores sick. So here I am at work, feeling run down, with a full day ahead of me.

But I have the choice to make this a great day! I wonder if I will make that choice?

Posted by JimG at 08:39 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 06, 2005

I have alot of problems with you people

Prepare your list, only 16 days 'til Festivus!

Posted by JimG at 04:07 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

baby it's cold outside

-6 degrees today, what is up with that? NEGATIVE 6 !, high of 9, come on. It is on of those days when the hairs in your nose freeze during the walk from your car to the door, this is ridiculous.

Plus to make matters worse, I left my phone at home today, so I am completely cut off for 8 hours! WHY DOES EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME?

No Wentworth Miller last night, yet another way that people are conspiring against me, trying to make my life miserable.

And I burned my tongue on the coffee I made this morning.

Ugh, I should have stayed in bed.

Posted by JimG at 08:49 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

December 05, 2005

this is the day

Monday morning...2 degrees outside, seriously 2 degrees.

wtf?

Posted by JimG at 08:55 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

December 03, 2005

Unusual Saturday post

I find myself with a little time on my hands this morning and decided to post. I want everyone to take a minute and go visit the blog of my Texas friend Steve, he has been monitoring traffic lately and I would really like to help him get it up, and if his numbers increase that would be ok also!

Posted by JimG at 11:43 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

December 02, 2005

Today started out good, coffee, the Today SHow, a hot shower, time with the cats and quickly became amazing! Driving down Hennepin Ave, I felt my attention drawn toward the marquis of the Uptown Theater, and there in BIG BOLD Letters were the words I have been longing to see-

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
DEC. 16

Oh, happiest day of days! How I have waited for you to come and now my wait is reduced to 2 short weeks, 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes, 1209600 seconds- all I have to wait. Should I get my haircut? What should I wear? Go alone or with people? Thank heavens I have a some time to make these decisions.

Well enough of that. Back to reality. Later kids.

Posted by JimG at 08:39 AM | Comments (10) | TrackBack

December 01, 2005

Today is World Aids Day.

Make sure that you let the people in your life who are living with HIV/AIDS know how much you love them, not just today, but everyday.

And stay mad that we still have to have World AIDS Day, stay really mad.

Posted by JimG at 08:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack