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August 31, 2005

I couldn't be happier

Expectations suck.

I have some regular plans, that go off without discussion , usually. From time to time there are changes, but for the most part I can tell you what my week will look like in advance. I like that, it is comfortable. Every once in a while then unspoken plans I have are changed by someone else and I struggle with all the feelings of... well a variety of things.

Usually what happens is I personalize other peoples decisions, making it all about me and I start to think that the reasons that plans have been changed is because someone does not want to spend time with me. Ugh, self absorbsion is unpleasant.

So all the fears of abandonment I have( you know the ones that prevent me from actually taking a chance on a relationship thereby confirming the idea that I am destined to be alone) rise up again. To prevent people from abandoning me, by the way I totally blame this on being adopted but that is something for another post, I make elaborate plans to sever all ties with the person or persons who historically have absolutely no idea that I am even upset(because if you tell people that you are upset they will abandon you, see how this all works neatly together).

Thank God for the steps and the fellowship. In the past the only way I knew how to deal with any of these "issues" was to get high. Today thankfully I have other tools. I talk to friends, pray and most important I am able to laugh at the cycle of my thinking.

It passes.

By the way, if you are reading this than you are some of the friends I am talking to about it.

Thanks for keeping me sober today.

Posted by JimG at 08:17 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 30, 2005

there are chicks, just right for some kissin'

It was so nice to sleep in my bed with my kittens last night.

I love the new Fox show, Prison Break, very cool, hot guys in prison.

I noticed on my way into work today that there is color(or colour for my Canadian readers) already appearing on the trees. While I love autumn, it is my favorite(or favourite) season, I am a little bummed that summer is ending. This year is going by so quickly. Don't get me wrong, I love it when red and yellow start showing up in trees and am really looking forward to my trip to Massachusetts in October when the New England trees should be peaking. The thought of chilly nights and wearing sweaters with shorts is really appealling. Plus it means that Christmas is right around the corner and we all know how much I enjoy recieving presents[the theme this holiday season is Tumi].

Maybe the end of summer isn't that bad.

Posted by JimG at 08:25 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 28, 2005

shining, shimmering, splendid

I am writing this post from my room at the Orlando Airport Hyatt, where by a bizarre twist of events I find myself on this Sunday night. Last night I stayed at a cute historic hotel in the Winter Park area, tonight fortunately I am at a hotel with wireless. I was supposed to be on my way to Montana right now, but there was a change in plans, so here I am watching faces of meth on A&E, can't begin to express the amount of gratitude that I have that I can add today to my calender of meth free days.

Tomorrow, early, I will be back in Minneapolis. I miss the cats and my incredibly comfortable bed, but it is also nice to stay in hotels. The place I am at tonight has beautiful linens on the bed and what appears to be Baker furniture, very sexy shower, too.

For the Houston guys, the hottie of the day is actually from your town.

I wonder if things really are bigger in Texas?

Posted by JimG at 08:17 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 26, 2005

why not agree to be my blushing bride

There is a guy I see every morning, I have a crush on him. I get to stand behind him at coffee most mornings, he is just a little taller than me, which means that I will have to lift myself up on my toes to kiss him. He has great eyes and curly hair that is a little fine in the back where it will eventually thin. He was reading the Plays of Eugene O'Neill and smiled at me as I picked up my latte.

It all sounds great except for his wedding ring.

WTF

Posted by JimG at 09:58 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 25, 2005

she likes basketball, isn't that wild!

Hopefully by the end of today my issues with Time/Warner Cable will be resolved and I will be able to spend tonight watchinh HGTV like all good gay boys.

Busy weekend ahead. Saturday night I will be in Orlando, then Sunday I am off to Kalispell, Montana via Salt Lake City.

What am I going to doing in Kalispell over night!

Posted by JimG at 08:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 24, 2005

I do believe I have been changed for the better

So Pat Robinson has called for the assasination of the President of Venezuala because this would be cheaper than a war and oil would still come to the US.

That is awesome.

WWJD indeed.

Posted by JimG at 08:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 23, 2005

I guess this is goodbye old friend

My friend Richard, who would have been delighted to be featured as one of the hot guys of one gay at a time.

You will be missed

Posted by JimG at 08:39 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

August 21, 2005

God on high, Bring him home.

My friend Richard had a heart attack and died last night. He was a true gentleman, one of the kindest, most generous people I have had the priviledge of knowing. I am terribly sad right now and as it sinks in I am realizing how much I will miss my friend.

I have been so very blessed by knowing him.

Posted by JimG at 09:31 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

have an eggroll, mr goldstone

I have learned many lessons in my time here on earth, here is one of the most important, I pass it on to you in hopes that it will free you to enjoy your day for what it is.

Life is not honestly represented in porn.

I had cable installed yesterday, poorly installed but that is a rant for another post. Anyhow, back to the topic at hand, the cable guy who Lured into my bedroom, to show him where I wanted my "box" was most definately not a member of the Falcon stable. This guy would have been rejected by the team at Old Reliable!

And cable is not the only example, my regular pizza delivery guy never "delivers", nor would I particularly want him to.

Times I have found myself in jail( I am in recovery, it happens) not once did I bump into Jeff Stryker.

the Plumber who was recently at my house didn't clean my pipes, if you know what I am saying.

ok, ok there was the room service guy at the El Tovar,

and the Quantas flight attendant somewhere over the Pacific,

and my boy scout troop leader,

and that fabulous marine in south beach(thanks again for that one!),

and the time I was called off the street in New York, where I was minding my own Christian business, by that hot little guy in the basket ball shorts, that one was pretty hot.

hmmm, maybe my life is a ChiChi La Rue production after all. Damn, life is good today.

Posted by JimG at 08:12 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 19, 2005

you know it ain't no shit, when you're getting lots of tit

At was at fellowship after a meeting last night with a group of about 20 people, most of whom where in early recovery. One of the guys at the table announced how excited he was that tomorrow(which is now today) was friday and that the weekend was here!

You could have heard a pin drop or a cricket chirp. It seems that this fellow and I were the only two at the table would have jobs, at least monday through friday, 9-5 jobs. I have forgotten the carefree, unaccountable days of early recovery. People fresh from rehab either looking for work or still coasting through the final days of FMLA.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Have a great weekend all!

Posted by JimG at 08:15 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 18, 2005

you're a bendel bonnet

I had a really nice dinner with my friend Susan last night. I have been blessed with such amazing people in my life, I wish there were enough hours in a day to spend time with all of them. I do my best.

I am moving into the new millenium at home on Saturday. Cable, cable interenet connection and the internet phone service are all coming to my house. Because I am my father's son, I am convinced that the internet phone service will be inferior to my Qwest connection. It has all gone downhill since Ma Bell was broken up anyway(dear god, now I am my grandfather!) Wish me luck on that, I am sure it will be traumatic. I am hoping for a hot cable guy, teehee.

Posted by JimG at 06:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 17, 2005

take me to a zoo, that's got chimpanzees

I am waiting for a delivery this morning at home. It is kind of crazy how difficult it can be to schedule daily needs, deliveries, dr appointments, trips to the bank etc, when you work nine to five.

My home group meets on Tuesday and the meeting last night was great. It amazes me that no matter what is going on in my life I can hear the answer without having to ask the questions just by going to a meeting.

That is very cool.

Posted by JimG at 07:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 16, 2005

when I was a girl I had a favorite story

I watched the movie trapped last night, adding Dakota Fanning and Courtney Love to my next game of Six Degrees. It was a good story, pretty guys and things blew up. Who could ask for more?

Posted by JimG at 08:30 AM | TrackBack

August 15, 2005

gonna have the whole world on a plate

In Minneapolis this weekend an elderly woman was robbed and killed at a gas station. She had put gas into her car and gone into the station to purchase the gas and a soda. While she was standing in lin, holding a 50 dollar bill with which to pay for her things, a young man snatched both the 50 and the unpaid soda from her hands and left the store.

The woman followed the young man out of the store, into the sight line of her son who had remained in her car. The man got into the backseat of a car, in the front seat were two young woman, one driver, one passenger. When the woman began to confront the robber, the girl drove over her!

For 50 dollars and a soda!

WTF

Sorry to post such a bummer on a monday morning, but oh my stars, what is happening?

On a cheerier note, I had a great weekend.

Posted by JimG at 08:32 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 13, 2005

watching a frat boy realize just what he stuck his dick in

Look at me, with a rare weekend post!

I went to see Skeleton Key last night, it was much better than I had anticipated, which is why I like to keep my expectations really low as a rule. The best part of the even though was listening to Billy scream like a woman everytime anything remotely startling happened, tee hee it is funny when other people are scared.

Busy day planned ahead, I am already up and at 'em. It is rare to find me avoiding housework this early, I wonder what that is all about.

Have a great weekend.

Posted by JimG at 07:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

August 11, 2005

good morning starshine

Great day today. My mom's surgery went very well, she is home and doing fine. It was a bladder thing, mom has ms and her muscle control isn't great, but her spirits remain high. Although in telling me about the procedure my father strung together three words I never wanted to hear in a sentence...your, mother's, vagina...

Oh dear God, remove that image.

On another note, I went to dinner with a great group of friends tonight to celebrate Andrew's birthday. It was a different mix of people for me. I know all of them, but don't socialize with them, which made for great conversation. We ate at Stella's, the new hot spot in Uptown, where Tonic spent it's short lived life, good food, good times.

I am going to see Skeleton Key tomorrow night with Billy. We have a standing friday night non date thing going which is alot of fun. I think maybe it could be a whole slumming night, Olive Garden before the movie at Block E. I have to admit that I do love the endless salad bowl.

Posted by JimG at 10:22 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear andrew
happy birthday to you

Posted by JimG at 09:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 10, 2005

everybody's got the right to be different

Work was good today, busy so time passed quickly. Say a prayer for my friend Lindsay, her family is having a bit of drama and I love her, so lets help her through this.

It has cooled down a bit here, which is pleasant. I went spinning tonight with Fabian and Matt, which s always a joy. Then off to Chipolote with Fabian, anytime you eat in public with Fabian is can be risky. I mean for a big girl he can really put those burritoes away!

Barbara Bel Geddes died today. That is sad. She was the original Maggie on broadway in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Method you know. Of course she will be remembered as Miss Ellie on Dallas, but there was a time when she trod the boards.

Posted by JimG at 08:53 PM | TrackBack

August 09, 2005

Medallions

In the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, for the reader who is not aware of this tradition, we mark periods of sobriety with medallions. This is a nice way of acknowledging time passing for the alcoholic who continues to work the steps and grow in their sobriety, but more importantly it act to show newcomers that through working the steps it is possible to have extended periods of recovery. I can remember when I first started going to meeting and saw people getting 30 day, and more, medallions. The idea that people could string together day, weeks months, even years of time without using drugs or alcohol was unreal.

Today my friend Dan will recieve his 18 month medallion at the Gratitude meeting. This is Dans home group, so you know that you will find him there every tuesday night. Stop by and acknowledge this milestone in his life. I know that I am thankful to have him around.

Posted by JimG at 06:20 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 08, 2005

I sing the body electric

Busy day at work, I didn't have a chance to post, so I am doing the unthinkable and posting from home! Apparently I have already upset a Minneapolis lawyer and a Seattle doctor by not keeping up, my apologies, I will see that it does not happen again.

Peter Jennings is dead. That is sad I guess, I mean everyone is going to die and he had cancer, obviously quite bad, so I hope he is at peace. I guess I don't really feely that connected to tv newspeople. The obvious exception to that would be Kare 11's Scott Goldberg, but we keep that on the dl.

I am so ghetto fabulous.

I bought a bunch of peacock feathers at a garage sale this weekend, don't worry, they are not going into a wicker basket in the corner of my bedroom. I bought them to drive the kitties nuts and the are doing their job wonderfully. Henry was panting last night, and if you have never seen a cat pant it is frigging hysterical.

Well, it is hot, I am tired and I have another long day tomorrow.

Night.

Posted by JimG at 08:49 PM | TrackBack

August 05, 2005

Could I bury my rage with a boy half your age in the grass, bet your ass.

The nice thing about crazy zealots is that they always end up making asses out of themselves, revealing who they really are.

Fred Phelps is at it again. Now he is praising the London Subway bombings and protesting at the funerals of American soldiers who have died in Iraq. Apparently hetrosexual American Soldiers.

Schedules for upcoming pickets
Funeral of Army Spc. Adam J. Harting - 10 a.m., Fri. Aug. 5, Edmonds & Evans Chapel, Portage, Ind.
Funeral of Army Spc. Edward L. Myers - at noon, Fri. Aug. 5, Grace Evangelical Church, 5103 S. 50th, St. Joseph, Mo.
Funeral of Army Sgt. Christopher J. Taylor - (2 p.m., Sat., Aug. 6, Opelika, Ala.)

This guys is nuts.

and dangerous.

Well that said I hope you all have a happy weekend, go out and do lots of thing that would really annoy Fred Phelps.

Posted by JimG at 08:07 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

August 04, 2005

the minute you walked in the door

We had a great thunderstorm here last night, the heat has broken a bit and it is just beautiful out, glorious day.

I have also discovered the tastiness of Kashi TLC Honey Sesame crackers and what could possibly make a day brighter than finding a new treat.

My Dad called me last night to tell me that my mother was having major surgery on tuesday, but that I shouldn't worry. Dear God, what was he thinking! A little investigative work clarified that it is not major, it is outpatient and taking place in the doctors office. At least I know from whence I get my dramatic flair.

Most importantly today is my friend Laura's Birthday, 29 years old again, so send out happy birthday wishes to her today!!!

Posted by JimG at 08:40 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

August 03, 2005

one of the gals was fat and pink and purty

Another beautiful, sizling hot day in Minnesota.

I am going to a spin class after work with Nathan and Matt, that is always fun. I was chatting with a friend recently about all the spinning I have been doing and how much I enjoy it, he told me that he didn't even know that I was a dj let alone spinning.

I really don't know what to say about that.

Posted by JimG at 08:36 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

August 02, 2005

turn my head with talk of summertime

Hard to believe that it is already August, where is the year going? I am trying to fit alot into the home stretch of this year(hee hee home stretch, look at me using sport metaphor). I have so many trips to take between now and christmas, crazy.

Posted by JimG at 08:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

August 01, 2005

take a listen

A friend of mine being interviewed about meth.

Posted by JimG at 10:47 AM | TrackBack

I'll be wearing ribbons down my back this summer

My friends Becky and Josh were married on Friday. Josh is a Marine, who is scheduled to return to Iraq next month. I have had the pleasure and honor of knowing Becky for about five years, watching her change into a really incredible woman. The wedding was perfect, I wish them all the best.

The rest of my weekend was good. I guess I was feeling a little sorry for myself, a little lonely. I am so grateful for all that is in my life today, it really is so full. But( there is always a but isn't there?), there are times when I get caught in self pity and it screws with my serenity. I have been praying alot this weekend, tryingf to be alright with life on lifes terms, blah blah blah...I want a boyfriend, there I said it. OH well, I am sure that saying it is bad karma, like breaking a mirror or something, great 7 more years, ugh.

Well, on a better note, I took a spin class at 6:15 am today, that's right AM !!!

It is good to know that I am still a little crazy.

But my legs and ass feel great, as if anyone wants to find out.

Ah, self-pity, dear old friend, your embrace is so comfortable.

Wish me well, it is going to be a long day.

Posted by JimG at 08:28 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack