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June 21, 2005
Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods
I went to a wake last night for my friend Mark R. I have known Mark for about 8 years, I worked with him at Sticks & Stones(an upscale furniture shop that used to be in uptown here) and at Coach. I remember a very funny evening at his house once where we watched Xanadu and ate chinese. He was kind, funny, flamboyant, charasmatic, outrageous and an alcoholic.
Mark struggled with the program, he felt he could do it his way, half measures and all that. I ran into him about 2 weeks ago, he was going on about his job and how much he loved it(he sold ridiculously expensive women's shoes at Marshall Fields Oval Room). We talked about recovery, what meetings we were going to. Mark told me that he had some slips, but that he was doing great. He had recently exchanged rings with his boyfriend Kevin and they were really happy.
Mark seemed really happy.
This past Wednesday Mark decided to drink and apparently kept drinking through Thursday. At some point during Thursday night Mark suffered esphageal hemorrages, which is related to cirrhosis and drown in his own blood.
Mark was 31 years old.
As Marks family buries him today, he is in my prayers. I hope that he is able to know the peace in death which eluded him in life and that this tragedy might act to save someone else's life.
Posted by JimG at June 21, 2005 08:36 AM
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One Gay at a Time: Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods
I guess they say that people live on in your memory. Certainly Mark's infectious laughter and uniquely flamboyant personality are something that I will never forget. I conside... [Read More]
Tracked on June 27, 2005 07:40 PM
Comments
I am sorry to hear another life is lost to addiction. I am sorry to hear that you have lost a friend...and I am sorry to hear that someone is without the person they love. Hugs to you my dear friend...and thanks for making the choice to live.
Posted by: Jeffrey at June 21, 2005 10:11 AM
Hi Jim-
I check in and enjoy reading your blog every so often. I happened to check this morning and found out that Mark, my friend of 12 years, had died. I hadn't been in frequent contact with Mark recently and last spent some time chatting with him at Marshall Field's this winter. Fortunately I was able to be at his funeral this morning thanks to reading your blog. I guess there are no accidents in this world, huh? I am terribly sad that the world has lost such an amazing spirit. I know Mark is finally at peace. Take care.
Chris
Posted by: Chris at June 21, 2005 02:02 PM
big long hug
Posted by: Karl at June 21, 2005 03:06 PM
I'm devastated to read Mark's story. Thirty-one is far too young and it seems to me, Jim, that you especially do not forget how precious each day is. My condolences to Mark's family and friends. :(
Posted by: Karen at June 21, 2005 03:48 PM
My most heartfelt condolences you, his lover and his family. I cried when I read this. Addiction is very serious. It can lead to death. Thank you for sharing how precious our sobriety is.
Posted by: HoustonYogi at June 21, 2005 05:37 PM
Thanks for the reminder Jim. Ther can never be too many of them.
Posted by: Dave / higher powered at June 21, 2005 08:45 PM
Not enough is said about relapsing and making it back into recovery. It's a fine line. We are grateful for those who make it back, but all too often, as you so equolently wrote, some do not make it. I need to be reminded of this often. Alcoholism and addiction are deadly diseases.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Mark's family and friends.
Posted by: scottw at June 21, 2005 10:39 PM
I'm very sorry for your loss. I think he would have been a good candidate for AVRT, since the program wasn't working for him. I wonder if anyone told him of other options?
Posted by: jim at June 21, 2005 11:08 PM