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June 30, 2005

What would I do if I had not loved you

I have written about Bobby on this blog once before. He was my boyfriend, partner, lover, husband, best friend for about 8 years. Bob was the first person I knew who I believed loved me because of me, not because we were related. I mean your grandmother has to at least act like she loves you, right? Anyhow, Bob had made this decision, and I returned it, life was very good.

There were of course problems, my alcoholism was present, it had not reached the point which it did, but it caused stress in the relationship and pain for Bobby, he loved me in spite of it..

15 years ago today Bobby had an aneurism and died.

It is hard to grasp 15 years passing. I still remember the way he looked when he slept, the way his skin felt, his laugh. Loving someone is a great gift, second only to being loved. I have loved a couple of guys since Bob. Eric, Matt and Dustin, I told them all that I loved them and I meant it. But not in the same way, I don't think I will ever love someone else in the same way.

Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be. Each love should be different, that is what makes them all special.

So today I remember Bobby, a little more than I do on other days. I remember all the people who loved him, and I am grateful to have had the joy of knowing and loving him.

A couple of years into my sobriety my friend Karen told me over lunch, "Bob would be so proud of you". I like to think she is right. I hope today that I closer to being the man he thought I was.

So don't let today pass without telling someone that you love them, life is far to short to be stingy with our love.

Posted by JimG at 08:26 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 29, 2005

I'd like to be a lion tamer

My friend Fabian celebrated 6 years of sobriety last night. Those are my favorite parties, well after ones that are being thrown in my honor of course.
I have not been getting enough sleep lately and I can feel it. The kitties have been annoyingly affectionate and active. I mean I love to play with them and it delights me to hear them purring and meowing, but at 3 am, give me a break.

Posted by JimG at 08:12 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

June 28, 2005

same ol place that you laughed about

Very Funny

Posted by JimG at 08:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pretending he's beside me

Yesterday we had computer drama at work and Lindsay
was sick(there is a summer cold going around, my
throat hurts this morning)so I neglected the blog, so
sorry.

Pride weekend was a good time. I do get a kick out of
the parade, although if someone could please explain
what the Bolt was thinking with their "float"? If you
want to see what my day was like visit Dan, he was taking so many picture I felt like Princess Diana. I know bad taste, give me a break it is very early.

Saw a bunch of people who I care about in very bad
shape, from using not from missing trips to the gym.
One of the challenges with sobriety and Pride is the expectation of "fun" that we create for the weekend. I went to bed at 10 on friday, was up early on Saturday, hit a pride kick off meeting and had a wonderful time all weekend. Bunch of people in my thoughts and prayers today.

One of the games we all played this weekend was name
the screen name. I can't tell you the number of guys I
had to delete from my hotlist after seeing them
outside of cyberspace.

Time to hop in the shower and get to work, Later.

PS. Nomination for best float, Wilde Roast , hands
down

Posted by JimG at 08:31 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 25, 2005

If I were a wealthy man

There are a lot of things I covet, a sofa from room & board, paintings, the dwr catalog...

Now, don't get me wrong, my life is full without these, I don't spend hours angry that I do not have them, it is just that I like my ass to be comfortable. In reality I make enough to have these thing, I am just not good at all this budgeting stuff.

Ugh, early morning honesty. I think Lindsay summed it up best when she told the woman from Target, "I suck at having credit cards"

Posted by JimG at 08:05 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 24, 2005

Guys are cumming in their pants

It is friday, this has been a long week.

I have lesbians staying at my house this weekend. They are coming down fron the "Iron Range" for Gay Pride. Apparently Hasting Gay Pride is not really anything to speak of. The house always seems a little warmer when it is filled with dykes, don't you think?

My friendster list topped 100 yesterday, that is certainly exciting.

So I will leave this up to you. I am going to the movies tonight...

Batman or Bewitched?

Posted by JimG at 08:19 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 23, 2005

summer loving, had me a blast

One thing that I do not really love about living in Uptown during the summer is the frequency of blackouts. Last night I got home around 9:30, went to spin class then had dinner with my friend Matt, to find my entire block in the dark.
no lights
no wireless modem
no airconditioning!
I wrote a couple of letters by candlelight, feeling all Laura Ingalls Wilder, then I went to bed. There is nothing like having two cats snuggling up against me while the temperature moves toward 90 degrees.
Now that is living!

Posted by JimG at 08:30 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 22, 2005

Isn't it Romantic?

This is the best place on line, ever!

At least for today.

Posted by JimG at 12:22 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

There she is, there she is, there she is

Gay Pride is this weekend! The weather is supposed to be beautiful. I love that every pride celebration I have been to the weather has been great. Proof that God loves the Gays if you ask me. (For clarification and to prevent any hate mail, I am using Gays as an all inclusive term for the entire GLBT community, love ya all, really!)
I have some friends coming to stay for the weekend, which means I have to clean up, wash the guest room sheets, stock the fridge etc. Being a good hostess is hard, I hope they bring me a gift.

Posted by JimG at 08:25 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 21, 2005

Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods

I went to a wake last night for my friend Mark R. I have known Mark for about 8 years, I worked with him at Sticks & Stones(an upscale furniture shop that used to be in uptown here) and at Coach. I remember a very funny evening at his house once where we watched Xanadu and ate chinese. He was kind, funny, flamboyant, charasmatic, outrageous and an alcoholic.
Mark struggled with the program, he felt he could do it his way, half measures and all that. I ran into him about 2 weeks ago, he was going on about his job and how much he loved it(he sold ridiculously expensive women's shoes at Marshall Fields Oval Room). We talked about recovery, what meetings we were going to. Mark told me that he had some slips, but that he was doing great. He had recently exchanged rings with his boyfriend Kevin and they were really happy.

Mark seemed really happy.

This past Wednesday Mark decided to drink and apparently kept drinking through Thursday. At some point during Thursday night Mark suffered esphageal hemorrages, which is related to cirrhosis and drown in his own blood.

Mark was 31 years old.

As Marks family buries him today, he is in my prayers. I hope that he is able to know the peace in death which eluded him in life and that this tragedy might act to save someone else's life.

Posted by JimG at 08:36 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack

June 20, 2005

This is not Milan, Doctor

Well I am back in Minnesota after a wonderful weekend in Buffalo. It was great seeing family and old friends and I plan on going back soon.

I especially want to thank Doug and John for being so welcoming. It was great to see you both.

Posted by JimG at 08:36 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 18, 2005

Shuffle off to Buffalo

Things are going GREAT !

More later

Posted by JimG at 07:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 17, 2005

the Jews have all the Money and the Whites have all the Power

That lyrics bite goes out to my friend Leo.

The server is down at work, so I am blogging my my laptop at my desk, stealing someones wireless. Technology has once again made me a thief!

I have a very exciting/scary weekend ahead of me. Like many people in recovery(and many not in recovery) I have a rather odd family dynamic. I talk to my folks a couple of times a week, we get along famously, now that I am living sober. While I was using the relationship was oddly enough strained, my father and I communicated through a series of conversations and checks. Today though it is completely different, and I am very thankful for that.
However, we have never been like the Waltons. No major family gatherings, everyone is pretty mush a free spirit. So it happens that I have not actually seen my either of my parents in 7 years. I talk to them all the time, but we have not been together. Keep in mind that I have been sober six and a half years, so it is also important to remember that since I was about fourteen I have not been with my parent sober.
I am going to see my parents tonight. It is my mom's birthday and father's day is sunday, so I thought this would be a nice surprise. They do not know I am coming. I am actually just stopping by to see them on a trip to see some other friends, so I will not really be disrupting their routine. There is a longer trip planned later this summer, but I thought this would be a nice ice breaker.
Send me good wishes.

Posted by JimG at 08:39 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

June 16, 2005

Careful the things you say...

Well, for all thise who wrote wondering(and by the way Jeff it was great to hear from you, there is a story for another post!), the date went very nicely. Dinner at Cafe Barbette we took a nice walk around the lakes, spent some time watching dogs having a blast in the dog park near Lake of the Isle, went back to my house to hang out for a bit and then called it an evening. It was really quite nice and I imagine we will do it again.

And yes, he is a very nice kisser.

Posted by JimG at 08:10 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

June 15, 2005

I gave you life, I can take it away.

Went spinning again last night with my friend Nathan. I have not taken Marti's class in a while and I forgot how much time she spends sprinting, damn my legs burn this morning. In a good way of course.
Lindsay is going to be late today, she "broke her tooth", I tell you that girl will do anything to get out of work!
I have a date tonight with a new guy, while this does not put me in a Michael Jackson category, he is 25. Which is 14 years younger than me. And I have no problem with that, no problem at all.

Nope, no problem.

Not here, no way, I am good with that.

Nope.

Posted by JimG at 08:23 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 14, 2005

I hope you're happy now!

Dave, over at higher powered tagged me do fill out one of these list, and in turn I get to pass it along to 3 other bloggers, so here goes:

What time did you get up this morning? - six am
Diamonds or pearls? - diamonds
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Star Wars
What is your favourite TV show? - Lost
What is your middle name? - Paul
What is your favorite cuisine? seafood
What foods do you dislike? - coconut
What is your favourite crisp/chip flavour? - salt and vinegar
What is your favourite CD at the moment? - Avenue Q
What is your favorite song? - Just Like Heaven
What kind of vehicle do you drive? - All about public transportation
What is your favourite sandwich? - turkey and swiss on rye
What characteristics do you despise? - intolerelence, I can't stand it!
What is your favourite item of clothing? - shorts
If you could go anywhere on vacation, where would you go? - Australia(again)
What colour is your bathroom? - white
What colour pants are you wearing? - blue shorts
Where would you retire? - at the beach
What is your favourite time of the day? - early morning
What is your most memorable birthday? - 13
What's the last thing you ate? - rice
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? - dusty rose
What is your favorite cartoon character? - kid flash
What is your favorite flower? - white french tulips
What fabric detergent do you use? - Mrs Myers lavender scent
Do you wish on stars? - yea, why not
What is your shoe size? - 10
Do you have any pets? - yes
Last person you talked to on the phone? - the guy I have a date with tomorrow
What did you want to be when you were little? - an actor
What are you meant to be doing now? - exactly what I am doing
What do you first notice about someone? - eyes
What was your favourite toy as a child? - GI Joe
Summer or winter? - summer
Hugs or Kisses? - kisses
Chocolate or vanilla? - vanilla
Living arrangements? - Henry, Frank and me
When was the last time you cried? - this weekend when I was told that an old boyfriens was using meth
What is under your bed? - sisal
In how many cities have you lived? - 7
Favourite movie of all time?- too hard to choose…Now, Voyager
Mountains or beach? - beach
Full names of your potential kids? - Molly McGlynn G. or Maxwell Mcglynn G.
What is your usual bedtime? - 10p-11p

and I pick...
Dan
Karen
and Bryan

Posted by JimG at 08:26 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 13, 2005

Raise a Glass of Jesus Juice

Michael Jackson is clear of all charges

wtf

Posted by JimG at 03:03 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Wish me luck, the same to you

What a wonderful weekend, probably the most beautiful sunday I can remember in a long time. I came into work today completely relaxed.

One Gay At A Time was picekd as best personal gay blog over at bestgayblog, that was very flattering. I may have been a little more flattered by the kudos given by ebrechi, for he is very cute!

Went to a softball game on Sunday, where I ran into Mighty. Sorry I couldn't make the party Dan, next time I promise.

I went to two spin classes this weekend, so I am glad that I have a desk job today.

Posted by JimG at 09:14 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack

June 10, 2005

dressed in our pajamas in the grand salon

I am fighting a cold. What is up with summer colds?

I am going to see a movie this weekend, any suggestions?

A friend of mine had his blog called narcissistic, aren't blogs by nature narcissistic? I mean really, who cares that I have a cold?, or that I consider Ryan(pictured above) to be hot?, or that I have struggles or joys in life? What I love about blogging is the voyeuristic nature of it. I give strangers, who sometimes become friends, glimpses into my life and in return get to take peeks in theirs. I think it is like leaving your curtains open just a little, and every once in a while you get a peek of someone getting out of the shower.

Posted by JimG at 08:19 AM | Comments (14) | TrackBack

June 09, 2005

I don't miss you inside me

I went spinning with friend Matt last night, good times. Then home for a quiet night.

I am already looking forward to my trip to Houston in November. A couple of people have decided to come down, "for moral support" which translate to "to meet hot, sober cowboys", but we let the illusion continue. Round Ups are always a good time and I look forward to meeting a couple of fellow bloggers.

On an annoying note, Spam has been being posted in my comments. Can't we ever have peace, I ask you!

Posted by JimG at 08:52 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 08, 2005

What's the story, Morning Glory?

I always think it is cool when I connect with a fellow blogger, or just see someone I know from on-line. Yesterday, I had a conversation with Cisco about the Houston Round Up this fall. We have e-mailed a few times, and of course I already feel like I know him from reading his blog, but it was great to talk to him. I am even more excited about meeting him and all you folks dow in Houston this November!

Posted by JimG at 01:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

boil the rice

Last night I went with a group of friends to prepare and serve dinner at the Simpson Men's Shelter, this is a wonderful place. They go to great length to provide a setting with dignity to men who have found themselves living on the streets. They do a lot of advocacy work to move these guys into apartments and to help them find jobs.
I was filled with gratitude for my house and bed last night, that's for sure.
There was a big storm here last night and uptown lost all it's power. I had that feeling of panic when I woke up and looked over at the alarm clock only to see the face was black. Fortunately my internal alarm clock was pretty right on, so I made it in with time to spare. Summer is never really here until Uptown starts experiencing power outages!

Posted by JimG at 08:13 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 07, 2005

I know the parables told in the Holy Book

Great night, some great opprotunity for service work, of the AA variety, came my way. More about that later.

I spent about two hours talking to a guy who I have had a little crush on for the past couple of years on the patio at Veras. It seems that he has had a bit of a crush on me too. It is just terrific when that happens. So we are going to have a date. Wish me luck on that front.

Good guesses yesterday, see how you do today. By the way Dan, using google is officially now cheating. Since I made up the game, I can make up the rules. HAH!

Posted by JimG at 08:37 AM | Comments (9) | TrackBack

June 06, 2005

Bet they collect things, like ashtrays and art

So I have decided to try out a little game, my post titles will be from Broadway Musicals, the game is to tell me from what show. I call this game, "I am a huge homosexual".

Outside of my respect I am not sure what, if any, prizes there will be. It was suggested that the winner( and aren't we all really winners?), would have the honor of buying me dinner. We will see.

Ahyhow, have fun, guess away, and may the best girl win!

Posted by JimG at 08:14 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack

June 03, 2005

I am at MySpace too.

Join me at MySpace

Posted by JimG at 09:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

She's Back!

Thank Heavens I managed to get a hot guy up today(teehee...up...)

A good friend relapsed this week. He had called me the night that he eventually used, I knew that there was something wrong, asked him to come over or to meet for coffee, but he kept saying he was ok. I know that I can only help someone in their recovery when they want help, that I do not have, nor do I want to have, the power to control people's sobriety. As much as I may kid about it, I do not want to be anyones higher power.

Still, I am sad when I watch people making mistakes and am not able to reach them. I am filled with gratitude that this friend called me today and asked that we get together this afternoon and tomorrow. I try to be available for people who are trying to stay sober as much as I can, being of service helps to keep me sober.

So join me in a prayer for my friend and for all those out there who are suffering today, if you don't pray just send out some great thoughts for him.

Maybe for me too, God knows we all can use help.

Posted by JimG at 08:12 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

June 02, 2005

Be My Friend!

Join my list of friends on Friendster, I never say no.

Never,

Posted by JimG at 09:04 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

A Gay Without Beefcake

Apparently I am saving my pictures incorrectly. Now a little history of my computer saaviness. There is none. I click and if the computer does not do what I want it to do I hit it. Then I call Dan and complain that he has somehow messed up my program(computer not recovery, although there are days he throws wrenches in that program too.)
Anywho, as my friend Bryans says, I have to change the format of my files so that I can upload them. Having no idea what that really means, I will just fuck around with things until this box does what I want it to do.
I watched the first episode of LOST last night. I can hardly wait for the box set to come out so that I can see the whole thing. OK, I also watched the "Celebrity" Dance Show, wtf?

Posted by JimG at 08:48 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

June 01, 2005

WTF

I am having difficulties uploading a picture today, do not fear, I will get a boy up for you.
Hmm, the double entendre there is to easy, even for me. Yes, Dan, there are things that are too easy even for me!
I went to an amazing big book study last week, and have been making a point to read from it everyday again. I am looking at it with a very different set of eyes. It really is something, all the answers to my troubles are right in there, huh.
Summer has come to Minneapolis, at least for a day or so. Yesterday the parade of boys headed down to Lake Calhoun all scantily clad was passing right by my house. All of the sudden my rent does not seem so expensive.

Posted by JimG at 08:19 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack